Wealthy fiancé insists on prenup to protect his assets, but refuses to pay for his fiancée to get a lawyer, despite him earning 10x more than her, sparking dispute over financial trust: 'Said I could trust him and sign without a lawyer'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 16, 2025 7:00 AM EST

Marriage is the bond of two people sharing everything in life: a relationship, a home, and, if they're lucky enough, a family (whatever it may look like to them). But why is it that so many couples are happy to share every element of their lives, except when it comes to their finances?

It's strange, isn't it? That people are so willing to get married, yet in the back of their minds, they are still constantly considering protection from the what-ifs. Like, suddenly, For Richer and For Poorer, only really applies to the richer part… We understand the appeal of a prenup as a way to protect one's assets, especially those with immense wealth. However, it's scary to think that you would one day need financial protection against the person you're about to marry, or that they would want that from you…This soon-to-be bride would know, a PhD student not earning as much compared to her fiancé, she has accepted his request to sign a prenup, something she didn't quite think about ever doing previously…

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  • Her one condition? If he wants the prenup so badly, he can be the one to pay for her lawyer, who will ensure the agreement is fair for her, too. So that one day, she cannot be blamed for her name signed in ink, upon something she never truly understood many moons ago. The fact that he keeps telling her that she must trust him and that she doesn't need a lawyer looking at it seems to be slightly concerning. If he values his protection so much, surely he should feel the same for the woman he loves? 

  • Couple signing papers at court
    via elnur

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for asking my fiancé to pay for the whole prenup process?

    I (26F) recently got engaged to my fiancé (28M) after 3 years of dating. I'm in a PhD program while he's been working for 6 years and he has far more wealth and assets than me.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • He would like a pre nup to protect his existing assets and I'm totally ok with that.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • I just asked him to pay for a lawyer for me to review it. He was miffed and asked why he should pay for my lawyer on top of paying for his lawyer to draft the prenup.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • He said I could just trust him and sign without a lawyer looking at it. I said if he has a lawyer and I don't, the pre nup might not hold up in court if it came down to that.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • And even if it did hold up in court, I'd want a lawyer anyway to make sure it's fair because it's unequal if he has one and I don't.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • And quite frankly, the pre nup is entirely benefitting him so I don't want to pay for it.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • I could theoretically afford it if I sacrificed some of my minimal savings but he makes literally 10x what I do.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • So based on all that I don't want to pay. We have not resolved this disagreement yet and I'm wondering if IATAH for asking him to pay for my lawyer?
    via Background-Fee3851
  • Prenuptial Agreement with pen and small red hearts
    via zimmytwss-images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • vabirder Do not just trust him and sign. That is not good advice. Don't sign until you can afford your own lawyer from a different firm. If that delays your marriage, so be it.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • grayblue_grrl "Trust me. Sign this." NEVER a good idea. IF this is the hill he is willing to die on, then you should not marry him. You are right. He is wrong. It sounds like he is going to make sure you have "nothing" if when you leave him. And if you are planning kids he'll expect free labour etc etc. You want all that covered. NTA
    via Background-Fee3851
  • SoSerious Bro You are absolutely correct; a prenup negotiated without the assistance of a lawyer for each spouse is pretty worthless. If you want to have any confidence at all that your agreement will hold up in a divorce (which is when it would matter), then yes, you each need a lawyer. It's not an unreasonable request by you, since you can't afford it. You could ask him to pay for your attorney and also request an insurance policy to name you as the beneficiary so that any debt incurred by you
    via Background-Fee3851
  • shadesod "Trust me, sign this without a lawyer" is such a giant red flag. Are you sure you want to marry a man like this? He makes 10x your salary and is nickel and diming you over a lawyer to sign the document he's demanding that protects HIS money? He sounds like a selfish prick with a terrible attitude.
    via Background-Fee3851
  • SmellMajestic 7355 Are you sure you want to marry a man who thinks you're dumb enough to sign a prenup without a lawyer?
    via SmellMajestic7355
  • Savings-Breath-9118 I totally understand his need for a prenup, but if he has that much more money than you, he should be willing to pay a few hundred dollars for an attorney good choice. If he is not, then I would seriously reconsider this marriage.
    via Savings-Breath-9118
  • Cullina64 I'd be questioning your choice to marry him if this is he's attitude at this point. He wants, he must pay. I assume you would be happy to marry with out the prenup. He wants, cough up..
    via Cullina64
  • kris103186 Definitely get your own attorney. You need to make sure you're not getting entirely screwed over in the future. Your lawyer will make sure that you're protected depending on the divorce laws where you live.
    via kris103186
  • howardcoombs If there was the best time to question your willingness to marry this guy, now would be it. He wants a prenup, he gets to pay for it. End of discussion.
    via howardcoombs
  • Client shaking lawyer's hand.
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • secretlysaucyone Him paying for your lawyer would certainly incentivize him to negotiate on all the things he put in the prenup to protect himself at your expense. It's astonishing to me that he thinks you should simply sign the prenup that his lawyer wrote for him since you are not his lawyers client. Never marry someone who threatens your autonomy. Never marry someone who takes away your voice. Never marry somebody who tries to dictate decisions they don't own. Never marry someone who thinks t
    via secretlysaucyone
  • NTA Chitokoto I am not married, but I think you guys might need to have a conversation about finances. When you're married, finances should not be a barrier between you two moving forward. So it doesn't matter who pays. Especially if you are considering joint bank accounts in the future. So in saying that, if he wants a pren-up and has more money, I believe he should pay, and entirely beneficial to him, he should pay as it is a small investment to protect his long- term assets in the hopefully u
    via Chitokoto
  • ultimatepoker Tip: Never trust a lawyer paid for by someone else. Where I'm from, that would be a conflict of interest for the lawyer. In your case I'd keep it simple; set a real boundary that controls your actions, not his.
    via ultimatepoker
  • Local_business_disco My lawyer told me it's customary for the person proposing the prenup to pay for the lawyers. My husband (fiancé at the time) paid for my lawyer.
    via Local_business_disco
  • TashaT50 He's telling you who he is. Think long and hard about whether you want to spend your life with a man who who isn't keeping your best interest in mind. A prenup should protect both parties. If he cared about you he would have offered to pay for a lawyer. You wouldn't need to ask. You are correct he should want you to have an attorney to protect his rights under the prenup. His attorney should be advising him on the best way to pay for your attorney to protect his rights. A man who says t
    via TashaT50

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